She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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