for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
