I am spending my child support on dildos
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
