how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i believe in u and ur pee
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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