I'm gonna have a badass scar
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
