Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
