He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I understand Curling. That high.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
