He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
