I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Randomize
