I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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