Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
