party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
