yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
