Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
