I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
