So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
