Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
