Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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