he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
