thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
