yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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