grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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