Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
