My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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