my shit smells like andre
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
