Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
