I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
