how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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