Fuck appropriateness.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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