My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
