there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Randomize
