I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
