Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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