my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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