I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
