Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
