And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
