Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
3 2 1 whiskey
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
