Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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