A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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