i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
