i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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