Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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