All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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