got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
