She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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