I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
