Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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