I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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