And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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